Happy New Year, let's talk about the Britney song.

Another year, another Britney song, as they say.*

In case you haven't been paying attention to the "news of the world"**, a little-known singer named Britney Spears is returning with a new album this year.

The first single, "Hold It Against Me", premiered today on American radio and will be available tomorrow, Jan. 11 at midnight on iTunes in the US.

Various pop blogs have praised this song as a "throw your hands up" dance jam in the veins of "Gimme More"/"Womanizer", and that's not far off the mark. Producer Dr. Luke literally ear-rapes listeners with a seriously thumping beat and a scratchy analoged-to-near-oblivion bass***. Sound-wise, it's a very solid club thumper, perhaps her most blatantly dance tune yet.

"Hold It Against Me" being a Britney single, it's not without its flaws.**** Allow us to elaborate...

FLAWS:
1. The verses are rather tepid, and that "Hay-zay" pronunciation sort of hurts the ears, but then you have to consider that you don't listen to a Britney Spears song to hear good verses. Like most pop songs, the verses are merely the filler moments between an amazing chorus (WHICH IS WHAT OUGHT TO HAPPEN IF A POP STAR KNOWS WHAT'S GOOD FOR THEM).

2. The vocals are nothing impressive, but then again you don't listen to a Britney Spears song to hear good singing. Go to Xtina Snooze-ilera if you want to hear some wailing.

Conversely, "Hold It Against Me" being a Britney single, it is also not without its strengths, and luckily this song has more strengths than weaknesses.

STRENGTHS:
1. Not going to lie, that chorus is pretty f-ing amazing. Everyone involved in the writing and recording and producing of this song should receive a gift card to Target or Starbucks or something of the like. Kudos to you all.

2. A lot of music blogs that have already written about this song seem to unanimously agree that one incredible part is the breakdown towards the end (which we "industry insiders"***** call the "middle eight"), and THEY ARE MOST DEFINITELY CORRECT. It is absolutely incredible. The song completely transforms into noised-up dubstep before completely dropping out for a trancey synth bit. Then it revs up for one final blowout with the chorus erupting over that ear-raping beat. It is the supreme definition of a "hands in the air" moment.

Overall, we'd rate this a 7.5 out of 10. Not bad, Team Britney. Not bad at all.


Footnotes:

*No, they don't actually say this.
**This is open to some debate.
***This is by no means a bad thing.
****Basically every Britney song except "Toxic" and "Baby One More Time" has its flaws. "If You Seek Amy" consists solely of flaws.
*****This is definitely open to some debate.