One Weekend, Two Girls Aloud Performances

The Girls Aloud comeback wagon got into full swing this weekend ahead of Sunday's official release of their new single, "Something New". Which one was better, though?

A. Children In Need. 


Good points: The orange dresses, obviously, and that slightly epic video countdown. 

Weak points: Not a very exciting performance, admittedly. The girls all seemed nervous, Cheryl slipped in the beginning, none of their vocals were very on point. 


B. Strictly Come Dancing 


Good points: Each of the girls looked fantastic, the stage and lighting effects gave the performance a grander feel than Children In Need, and the vocals were much more confident this time out. Also, it was shocking to actually see female backup dancers during a Girls Aloud performance -- AND that the dancers were wearing those splendid orange dresses. 

Weak points: Honestly...couldn't really find any. Well done, Girls. Well done.

Obviously, the Strictly Come Dancing performance was the better one in case there was any doubt. 

Warning: New Booty Luv Single Is Various Kinds of Incredible

Before you proceed, stop and listen. It will take four minutes of your time, but that will be four minutes well spent. 



Right. Fantastic, no? Now let's discuss. 

Since we last heard from Booty Luv with 2009's incredible, rave siren-spouting "Say It", it's become apparent that Booty Luv aren't the least bit concerned with changing up their winning formula of releasing club-friendly tunes. 

To start off with, that opening lyric "He should be thinking about staying away" is a fantastic way to begin the song. Yes, as you could decipher from the song's title, the girls are singing about being a black widow where they will break those boys' hearts, chew them up spit them out, etc., but what is great about this track is a handful of great lyrical and musical moments that set it apart from the other dance-club singles permeating the music scene right now. The "Gonna be the last love of your life" bit in the chorus, the "I got that black black widow widow" bit in the bridge (or "pre-chorus", for you non-music insiders) - these are examples of the clever little pieces that we are just loving about this song.  

Then at 3:19, the song just transforms and turns itself into some late-night rave-a-thon, with stuttered vocal samples and synths set on scare mode that will most likely cause people hearing this in a club to lose their shit and "get those hands up". 

We're not sure if it will set the charts alight, since "Say It" failed to do that three years ago and we all know how great of a tune that was, but then worrying about how high it will get in the midweeks isn't really what pop music is about, is it? 

Girls Aloud "Something New"

Look, I know "Something New" is going to divide the fans (it already has), and when I first heard the leak I admit I was literally sitting at my computer saying out loud "Oh please God, don't let this be the actual single, please let this be fake". Two or three listens later, it was a little better, but I couldn't shake off the general sense of disappointment. Then about five or six listens later, I started to realize "oh, that '90s house beat is actually ridiculously good", and "that chorus is rather pedestrian but damn it's already stuck in my head", and then "OH MY GOD the last 36 seconds of the song are ABSOLUTELY AMAZING". This was followed by tears and convulsions and throwing up all over myself, but the point stands that "Something New" took some time to truly sink in. Then I realized...all of my favorite Girls Aloud songs were initially too weird when I first heard them. "Biology", "Something Kinda Ooooh", "Sexy! No No No...", "The Promise"...I was utterly confused and unimpressed with each of these songs when I first listened to them. Then 40 listens later I was huddled in a corner sobbing hysterically over how good these songs were, so time and again I have been reminded that the best Aloud songs are the ones that take repeated listens to reveal their true glories.

I will say, however, with the slightest bit of annoyance, that "Something New" is still not what I hoped for when Girls Aloud decided to finally return from this ridiculous hiatus they've been on. I sincerely hope that their next single is something a little more bonkers and a little less generic. That being said, I love this song and have already listened to it about 40 times in the last 24 hours.

LET ME REITERATE, HOWEVER. The outro is the best part of the entire song. Unbelievably amazing.

Welcome back, Girls.

GIRLS ALOUD ARE BACK SOUND THE ALARM

IT'S OFFICIAL.

Girls Aloud are back in business (yes we are ignoring the rampant speculation that this reunion will be a one-off greatest hits release and farewell tour)

HEAD EXPLODING HEAD EXPLODING