In Memoriam - Girls Aloud, 2002-2013

All good things must come to an end.

In one of the world's least surprising but still nonetheless saddening music revelations, just hours after departing the stage for the final night of their Ten: The Hits Tour in Liverpool, Girls Aloud announced via Twitter that they were pulling down the curtains for good on their time as a band. In some ways, it's perhaps best that this happened due to the rather half-assed way they went about with promoting the Ten album and the inescapable feeling that their musical relationship with Xenomania was sputtering below the standards of its once unstoppably brilliant results. At the same time, it would have been nice to have had at least one more full studio album out of the Girls, because in all honesty I am never going to fully accept the fact that the half-baked Out of Control has now become Girls Aloud's final studio LP.

There is one consolation, however: the fact that we have ten years of quite simply the most inventive pop music to ever emerge from a recording studio anywhere in the world. Admittedly, their first album we haven't paid much attention to aside from "Sound of the Underground" and "No Good Advice", but What Will the Neighbours Say?, Chemistry, and Tangled Up are three albums of such genius perfection, while the rather disappointing Out of Control still has at least three stone-cold pop classics, most notable "Untouchable". For any pop group in this day and age to have three fantastic albums and one rather-good-but-not-great album is a feat that most likely won't be rivaled anytime soon.

Now that it's all over, the proper thing to do is to reflect on just how amazing Girls Aloud were over the course of ten years. When one really takes into account their full musical catalogue, it almost becomes too overwhelming for any obsessive pop fan (myself included) to comprehend with a sound mind. I can distinctly remember still the first time I realized the brilliance of songs like "The Show", "Biology", "Something Kinda Ooooh", "Call The Shots", "Untouchable"...and that's just the big hits. That doesn't even count the other singles, the album tracks, the B-sides...again, far too much to analyze all at once. To simplify things in the best way possible, here are fifteen of my favorite Girls Aloud songs -

15. On The Metro


14. Miss You Bow Wow


13. Watch Me Go


12. Singapore


11. It's Magic


10. Memory of You


9. Love Machine


8. Girl Overboard



7. Call The Shots



6. Graffiti My Soul


5. Something Kinda Ooooh



4. Control of the Knife



3. Untouchable


2. The Show


1. BIOLOGY


There are plenty more, of course, and some I like more depending on my mood and certainly the bottom five or six songs could be reshuffled with other songs at a moment's notice, but the top five is rock solid in terms of how each of these songs solidified my obsession with Girls Aloud, an obsession that began back in 2005.

R.I.P. Girls Aloud, your sweet music will be missed...

One Weekend, Two Girls Aloud Performances

The Girls Aloud comeback wagon got into full swing this weekend ahead of Sunday's official release of their new single, "Something New". Which one was better, though?

A. Children In Need. 


Good points: The orange dresses, obviously, and that slightly epic video countdown. 

Weak points: Not a very exciting performance, admittedly. The girls all seemed nervous, Cheryl slipped in the beginning, none of their vocals were very on point. 


B. Strictly Come Dancing 


Good points: Each of the girls looked fantastic, the stage and lighting effects gave the performance a grander feel than Children In Need, and the vocals were much more confident this time out. Also, it was shocking to actually see female backup dancers during a Girls Aloud performance -- AND that the dancers were wearing those splendid orange dresses. 

Weak points: Honestly...couldn't really find any. Well done, Girls. Well done.

Obviously, the Strictly Come Dancing performance was the better one in case there was any doubt. 

Warning: New Booty Luv Single Is Various Kinds of Incredible

Before you proceed, stop and listen. It will take four minutes of your time, but that will be four minutes well spent. 



Right. Fantastic, no? Now let's discuss. 

Since we last heard from Booty Luv with 2009's incredible, rave siren-spouting "Say It", it's become apparent that Booty Luv aren't the least bit concerned with changing up their winning formula of releasing club-friendly tunes. 

To start off with, that opening lyric "He should be thinking about staying away" is a fantastic way to begin the song. Yes, as you could decipher from the song's title, the girls are singing about being a black widow where they will break those boys' hearts, chew them up spit them out, etc., but what is great about this track is a handful of great lyrical and musical moments that set it apart from the other dance-club singles permeating the music scene right now. The "Gonna be the last love of your life" bit in the chorus, the "I got that black black widow widow" bit in the bridge (or "pre-chorus", for you non-music insiders) - these are examples of the clever little pieces that we are just loving about this song.  

Then at 3:19, the song just transforms and turns itself into some late-night rave-a-thon, with stuttered vocal samples and synths set on scare mode that will most likely cause people hearing this in a club to lose their shit and "get those hands up". 

We're not sure if it will set the charts alight, since "Say It" failed to do that three years ago and we all know how great of a tune that was, but then worrying about how high it will get in the midweeks isn't really what pop music is about, is it? 

Girls Aloud "Something New"

Look, I know "Something New" is going to divide the fans (it already has), and when I first heard the leak I admit I was literally sitting at my computer saying out loud "Oh please God, don't let this be the actual single, please let this be fake". Two or three listens later, it was a little better, but I couldn't shake off the general sense of disappointment. Then about five or six listens later, I started to realize "oh, that '90s house beat is actually ridiculously good", and "that chorus is rather pedestrian but damn it's already stuck in my head", and then "OH MY GOD the last 36 seconds of the song are ABSOLUTELY AMAZING". This was followed by tears and convulsions and throwing up all over myself, but the point stands that "Something New" took some time to truly sink in. Then I realized...all of my favorite Girls Aloud songs were initially too weird when I first heard them. "Biology", "Something Kinda Ooooh", "Sexy! No No No...", "The Promise"...I was utterly confused and unimpressed with each of these songs when I first listened to them. Then 40 listens later I was huddled in a corner sobbing hysterically over how good these songs were, so time and again I have been reminded that the best Aloud songs are the ones that take repeated listens to reveal their true glories.

I will say, however, with the slightest bit of annoyance, that "Something New" is still not what I hoped for when Girls Aloud decided to finally return from this ridiculous hiatus they've been on. I sincerely hope that their next single is something a little more bonkers and a little less generic. That being said, I love this song and have already listened to it about 40 times in the last 24 hours.

LET ME REITERATE, HOWEVER. The outro is the best part of the entire song. Unbelievably amazing.

Welcome back, Girls.

GIRLS ALOUD ARE BACK SOUND THE ALARM

IT'S OFFICIAL.

Girls Aloud are back in business (yes we are ignoring the rampant speculation that this reunion will be a one-off greatest hits release and farewell tour)

HEAD EXPLODING HEAD EXPLODING

“Can’t Get You Out of My Head”…ten years on

As any self-respecting pop fan is aware of, today (September 8) marks the tenth anniversary of the release of Kylie Minogue’s modern classic, “Can’t Get You Out of My Head”. In some ways, it’s hard to believe that a decade has already passed since audiences first caught a glimpse of the barely-there hooded dress she sported in the Clockwork Orange-meets-Tron video clip, but at the same time it sort of feels like a whole lifetime ago. In this particular phase of popular music, one can argue that “Can’t Get You Out of My Head” was ahead of its time. Indeed, with almost every song in the top 40 today culling some form of thump-thump-thump Euro-techno sound, “Can’t Get You Out of My Head” can perhaps be regarded as the granddaddy of this recent electronic dance craze. But then, like Madonna, Kylie’s been using the dancefloor as a starting base for much of her career. Over time, her music has gotten more sophisticated, and more camp in certain ways, but all the while we knew she was comfortable being right there in the clubs. For all the Britneys and Katy Perrys out there today who are leading the pack with their batch of club-friendly jams, they ought to be paying at least some tribute to Miz Minogue for helping bear the torch all these years.

Pop was a different breed of beast back in 2001. The teenyboppers like Britney, *N Sync and Christina were slowly beginning to step towards ‘maturity’ (which back in those days meant bribing R&B producers to hand over their latest work to you and sexing things up even more than usual), and hip-hop was continuing its stratospheric rise as the dominant force in popular music. Overseas, Kylie’s comeback wagon was already trucking along with the success of her 2000 LP, Light Years, so massive anticipation awaited her in Europe and her native Australia when “Can’t Get You Out of My Head” began to rear its devious head. But for the song to achieve the success it did on American shores in early 2002 is something very curious indeed. When Britney’s third album failed to produce any top ten hits and *N Sync abruptly opted for a permanent hiatus, it was clear that 2002 would see the first nails being hammered into the pop coffin. With such a musical landscape, what could US audiences want with a relatively unknown Aussie in her ‘30s tramping around to a silly Eurodisco tune? We’re still not sure of the reasons why, but for one of the very few times in modern history, Americans actually paid attention to something brilliant.

Because, as we all know, “Can’t Get You Out of My Head” was not some silly Eurodisco tune. It was a slinky earworm that gradually lodged itself into the subconscious until people outside of the gay club scene were walking around humming “la la la” to themselves without even realizing. The song dripped with pure sex – from Kylie’s breathy sighs to the undulating bass throb that was engineered specifically for the grinding of crotches. The song also had some ominous undertones. Its tale of lustful obsession and the rather dark lyric “It’s more than I dare to think about” is testament to this.

While we could spend all day heaping glorious amounts of praise and discussing the song’s cultural impact over the last decade, ultimately the reason why “Can’t Get You Out of My Head” has stood the test of time is simply because it is a fantastic pop song. It has all the right elements – catchy, memorable hooks, inventive productions and a perfect delivery from its performer that only they can emulate – and at the end of the day, that’s all that needs to be said. Happy birthday, “Can’t Get You Out of My Head”. It’s been a privilege having you around this past decade.

Initial thoughts on "Born This Way"

Much like the news of Britney's latest single, unless you've been living under a rock or you're stuck in Egypt, you know that Lady Gaga's new single was unleashed today.

To start off, let's clear the air once and for all:

Yes, "Born This Way" sounds suspiciously like Madonna's "Express Yourself". Yes, people, we noticed it too. Of course, sounding similar to a song like "Express Yourself" is in no way going to bring any harm, not by any means. "Express Yourself" is a fantastic pop anthem (and further proves just how awful Madonna has become in recent years, but we digress...) and "Born This Way", consequently, employs a similar 'anthemic' feel.

Is it the 'anthem of the generation', as Gaga promised us in previous weeks? Well, that's entirely subjective, but one thing is for sure - it's no "Bad Romance". That's perhaps a bit of an unfair expectation to hang over Gaga's glittered head, and perhaps that's a disappointment that very few Gaga fans will be able to overcome. It doesn't mean that the entire "Born This Way" single campaign and the forthcoming Born This Way album campaign is doomed simply because we haven't heard (yet) anything with a tinny, stuttering-synth RedOne sound. Obviously the real judgment will arrive once the album is heard in full.

Back to the topic at hand - is "Born This Way" any good? We certainly need some more time to let it sink in, but one thing we can say is that we weren't aiming desperately for the "skip" button right when we first heard it. It's got big-room house beats, a bit of an updated disco vibe, and it definitely is catchy. The lyrics, we have to admit, are a bit of a weak spot. We appreciate as much as the most die-hard Gaga fan the very public stance she has taken to gay rights and sexual equality. It is our personal opinion that she could have delivered a self-empowerment anthem in less obvious words. A lyric like "A different lover is not a sin/Believe capital H-I-M (Hey, Hey, Hey)" just sounds forced and pandering from someone whose best song includes a lyric like "I want your Psycho, your Vertigo schtick".

We have never regarded Gaga as an innovator (God knows, just read entries from this blog's starting days to see how much we loathed her in the beginning) but she's always done pop in a smart, entertaining way, and while we find nothing wrong with a metaphor-less anthem to big gay loving, we can't help but wish that she would have gone about it in a slightly more creative way.

And that leads us back to the previously-mentioned statement "one thing's for sure- it's no 'Bad Romance'". That's a battle we must fight with ourselves if we're to ever fully accept any further Gaga songs. That goes for all Gaga listeners.