Let's have a look at the UK singles chart, shall we?

Right. This week's top ten -

1. La Roux "Bulletproof"
2. David Guetta feat Kelly Rowland "When Love Takes Over"
3. Black Eyed Peas "Boom Boom Pow"
4. Lady Gaga "Paparazzi"
5. Keri Hilson, Kanye West, Ne-Yo "Knock You Down"
6. Agnes Carlsson "Release Me"
7. Pixie Lot "Mama Do"
8. Daniel Merriweather "Red"
9. Dizzie Rascal and Van Helden "Bonkers"
10. Veronicas "Untouched"

Thoughts on the top ten
Well done to La Roux for making number 1 with such a brilliant song. Drinks for everyone. That said, the whole David Guetta-Kelly Rowland affair is rather dull, and apparently not even the Britons are immune to the Black Eyed Peas "charms". There's nothing left to say about Lady Gaga that hasn't been said before, and I haven't heard the number 5 song, but I can imagine anything with Kanye West and Ne-Yo in the credits is something I ought to steer clear of.

All right, here's your dose of reliable music blogging - we haven't actually heard any of the other songs in the top 10 other than numbers 1 through 4. Sorry, readers. We know you count on Mp3s and Cookies to be on the cutting edge of music, and we've let you down. Send our regards to your mothers.

Elsewhere in the UK singles chart....

Freemasons and Sophie Ellis-Bextor didn't exactly perform "up to standards", as "Heartbreak Make Me A Dancer" managed to zoom its way up from last week's debut at number 15 to its current peak at....number 13. Slow down there, turbo.

In the wake of Michael Jackson's death, nineteen of his songs (one of them being a Jackson 5 track) have charted on this week's UK singles chart. Now we're not one to jump on bandwagons here (collective Internet audience rolling their eyes), but we will say that Jackson's death is a rather significant moment for music. Granted, he hasn't done anything worth much musical value in nearly twenty years, but even we aren't dimwitted enough to understand how important he has been to modern pop music.

That being said, here's something every up-and-coming pop artist/group needs to understand- IF YOU REALLY WANT TO MAKE IT BIG, FIND SOME WAY TO DIE. Trust us, nothing screams chart success like ending up on an obituary. Look what it did for Aaliyah, or George Harrison. Posthumous number 1's fell right into their laps. (This is the part where Mp3s and Cookies ends up rotting in hell)